Knitting Reality
by Jessica Wolfe
Summary: Ash is stuck at work. Jess is home sick. What is there to do but save the universe?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: There are original characters in this little fic, but they're Ash's characters, so it still counts as fanfic. :D This was written for Ash when she was having a bad day at work, and with her permission, I'm sharing it with all of you. Hope you enjoy the silliness that ensues.

**Part 1  
****Hold on, Short Stuff. This Here's a Rescue**

Average citizen AngelAsh sat dutifully at her computer on the seventh floor of some nameless skyscraper in heart of a downtown city somewhere in the vicinity of the west coast of the United States.

She was nursing a headache, a desire to never have left her bed that morning, and a not-so-good Fuze drink that had called her name down in the break room.

Suddenly, and without warning, the windows on Ash's left exploded. The other representatives on the floor screamed and ducked under their desks (except for Ash's best friend Jessica Wolfe, who had the day off and was sitting at home doing writerly things—a.k.a. she was sick).

Long lines of poly-nylon cord dropped down the side of the building from a sleek silvery ship hovering on level with the roof—another seven stories up—and four men in dark clothing and masks zipped down the lines and swung in to land on the window sills.

"Ash!" one of the men called as the other three cover the room with wicked looking guns.

Ash popped her head up over her cubie and stared at the man. How did he know her name?

The man must have sensed her hesitation and ripped his mask off revealing her mental-twin, Stormy.

"Don't just sit there staring, girl. Move your aft!"

Thinking about all the evil things she'd do to him later—and all the ways she was going to thank him for the rescue—Ash ran for Stormy. He rapidly buckled on a safety harness, attached the line clip, and grabbed her around the waist, giving her a cocky grin

"Hold on, short stuff. This here's a rescue."

Ash glared at him. "Short— AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

She screamed as Stormy kicked off the window sill and out into thin air. The poly-nylon line held them easily and they began to ascend toward the ship. Ash looked down—big mistake—and saw the other three men also being reeled back up toward the ship. Even as they were being pulled up, the ship itself began to ascend toward the sky.

Once safely in the cargo hold, Ash decided to sit—thud!—and catch her breath so she could properly harangue—thank—her rescuers.

The other three men take their masks off, revealing Tallin (a mercenary), Sean (a hot Scottish guy), and Jay (a werepanther in human form).

"We got her! We got her!" Jay cried happily, hugging Ash.

"Let her breathe," Tallin said, shooing the werecat away. He crouched down in front of Ash and gave her a serious—not that Tallin is every anything but serious—look. "We need your help."

"The fabric of time and space is unraveling," a voice said over the PA system. "If we don't start knitting directly, the whole thing will just go . . . poof!"

**To Be Continued . . .**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2  
****More Importantly, I Need You to Teach These Blokes How to Knit**

Ash blinked up at her rescuers. "I thought you were coming to rescue me."

"We did," Stormy said, a wide grin on his face. "Now we need your help in return."

"Oh, I see." Ash stood. "Indian giver."

"No we're not," Jay said, rubbing his cheek against Ash's. Then, remembering he was in human form, the young man shifted to his black-furred werepanther form. He tried the rubbing thing again and found it worked much better with fur. He even added a purr.

Tallin smiled. "The Doctor said you were the best choice for this job, since you're such a good knitter. Some little bird told him you've been knitting baby blankets."

"Aye, th'Doctor speaks very highly of yeh, lass," Sean said. "An' I'd prefer if th'universe did'na unravel anytime soon."

"Here, here!" Stormy said.

"Where, where?" the Tenth Doctor asked, sliding down the railing into the cargo hold. He landed with a jaunty jump and smiled at everyone. "Alo! I'm the Doctor."

"We know," everyone chorused back.

"Ah, well, word of my infamy has spread I see." The Doctor beamed happily at them all, then turned his suddenly intense gaze on Ash. "I need you to knit."

"I've heard," she said wryly.

"More importantly, I need you to teach these blokes how to knit too."

"What?!" Stormy cried.

"Ooh, string," Jay said, his eyes half closing in ecstasy.

Tallin and Sean just shared a long-suffering look.

The Doctor whipped several pairs of knitting needles out from behind his back and a basket full of yarn. "Get busy learning. We've a few more people to pick up and I need everyone to knit or we could lose the entirety of time and space."

He tossed the needles and yarn into the air and ran back up the stairs. Tallin dove and caught the needles. Stormy and Jay crashed into each other trying to catch the basket and colorful balls of yarn went rolling all across the cargo hold.

Ash picked up a pretty purple ball of yarn as it rolled past and selected a set of needles as Tallin offered them. She bounced the yarn lightly in one hand.

"All right boys, get some yarn and needles and sit in a circle."

"What are we? In first grade?" Stormy whined.

**To Be Continued . . .**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3  
****Ah'm Scottish, Yeh Tosspot!**

"Knit one, pearl two. Knit one, pearl two," Stormy muttered. "Crap, I think I slipped a stitch." He readjusted the knotty mess on his knitting needles and started again. "Knit two, pearl three. No wait . . ."

"It's knit one, pearl one," Ash said patiently. "We're not doing the two pearl pattern. Keep it simple."

Stormy threw his yarn and needles on the floor. "I can't do this! I'm going nuts."

"Perhaps yeh could go nuts a little more quietly," Sean growled.

"What did you say, Irish?"

"Ah'm Scottish, yeh tosspot. And yer drivin' us all nuts."

There were a few 'here, heres' from the other knitters in the cargo hold. Their number had grown significantly in the past hour or so since Ash had been brought on board the ship. Despite the fact that they were using Tallin's ship, instead of the TARDIS, the Doctor seemed to have retrofitted the ship to jump through time and space.

Stormy glared at all of them. "Fine. All you little pansies keep knitting. I'm gonna go find a drink. You with me, Bastian?"

The black-haired man looked up from the respectable scarf he'd knitted. "No, I'm fine thanks."

Anica smiled at her husband and went back to knitting her own scarf, which put the Fourth Doctor's to shame.

"Traitor," Stormy muttered, stalking away.

"How about some water?" Vash called.

"I'll take a beer," Jack Harkness said.

"Do we have any snacks?" Inuyasha asked.

"Ooh, I want marshmallows!" Momiji Sohma cried.

A general murmur of requests for food and drinks followed Stormy as he left the hold. Ash shook her head and smiled.

"All right passengers," the Doctor's voice came over the intercom. "We're approaching the edge of existence, so hold onto your personal effects and put your trays and chair backs in their upright and locked positions."

"What's he going on about?" Kyou Sohma grumbled. "We're sitting on the floor. There are no chairs or trays." He did pull Tohru Honda closer to him though.

Tohru smiled and leaned into Kyou's side.

"Just go with it," Ash said. "It's easier than trying to figure out all his cryptic messages."

"You may experience a little discomfort as we pass the edge of existence into the Great Unknown," the Doctor continued. "But the ship has been fitted with Reality Boosters, so the likelihood that we'll all fall apart into our component atoms is highly unlikely."

"Our component what?" Inuyasha cried. "I didn't sign on to become smaller than dust!"

"Here we go!" the Doctor cried.

There were several jarring seconds while everyone's molecules tried to fly apart, meld with other people's molecules or the ship's—or the yarn and knitting needles—and were abruptly shoved back into their rightful positions as the Reality Boosters whined into high gear.

"See, wasn't that fun?" the Doctor asked.

Everyone who wasn't lying on the floor and attempting not to throw up uttered curses and threats against the Doctor's person.

"All right, ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereon—I've been dying to use that!—we have arrived. Please take the personal Reality Boosters being trundled about on K9's back and we'll head out into the Web."

"Web?" Ash said, a quaver in her voice. "There'd better not be any spiders."

"Oh, don't worry," the Doctor said. "The Weaver's been gone for a while. That's why I needed all of you."

"That's not very reassuring," Ash muttered, taking a personal Reality Booster as K9 rolled past.

**To Be . . . Finished? . . .**


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4  
****So, You Want Us to Knit Reality?**

Ash let Tallin, Inuyasha, Stormy and several other well-armed—and hunky!—guys lead the way out of the ship. She held her knitting needles in a ninja-like grip though, in case any spiders showed up and she could strike an awesome pose before turning tail and running away screaming.

"There's no need to be frightened," the Doctor said, appearing suddenly at Ash's side.

She let out a shriek and brandished her needles at him.

"Whoa there. Sorry." The Doctor grabbed her hands to keep her from putting his eyes out. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I wasn't scared," Ash fibbed, snatching her hands back. "That was just my lightning ninja reflexes. Hiya! Hoo-wa! These hands are deadly, you know."

The Doctor nodded, deciding—wisely—to let the subject drop.

"So, Doc, who's this Weaver you mentioned?" Kyou asked, strolling up and throwing an arm around the Doctor's neck.

"The Weaver, is basically the Creator of Reality," the Doctor said, grabbing Kyou's wrist and twisting out of the young man's hold.

"Ow! Ow! Okay, I got it! No head locks," Kyou cried.

The Doctor released his arm. "Thank you. Now as I was saying; the Weaver basically weaves Reality. That's why we had to come past the Edge of Reality to find her Web."

"What happened to the Weaver?" Ash asked.

"I'm not sure," replied the Doctor with a sigh. "No one's heard from her in a long time. But since Reality kept being, well, REAL, no one questioned why she hadn't been heard from."

"So, you want us to knit Reality?" Anica asked.

"Pshaw! No!" the Doctor laughed. "You bunch? We'd end up with a gobbledy-gook mess that no one would ever recover from."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jack said drily.

"If you think we're going to fail so spectacularly, why did you gather us and have Ash teach us to knit?" Tallin asked.

"Ah!" the Doctor cried. "Good point! Why indeed."

"Ah think tha's wha' he jus' asked," Sean said.

"Well, if someone starts messing with the Web, and Reality starts getting all gobbledy-gooky, then the Weaver will appear. At least, that's the theory," the Doctor said.

"So, basically, we're bait?" Inuyasha growled.

"Well—basically, yes. You're bait," the Doctor said. "But the Weaver is peaceful!" he shouted as the natives began to get restless. "She won't hurt you or eat you or anything. I don't think."

"I'm out!" Stormy said. "I don't do gigs with so few perks and a chance of dying."

"No one said anything about dying," Vash tried to soothe.

"I don't wanna die!" Momiji wailed.

"Now look what you've done," Kyou said, trying to comfort Tohru and Momiji at the same time, while glaring at Stormy.

Meanwhile, as everyone is busy arguing about the merits—or pros—and demerits—or cons—of the Doctor's plan, Jay and several other cat-minded people (namely Kyou and Ash herself) headed for a large cylinder-shaped structure at the center of the web made up of fine silky looking threads.

"Soft," Jay crooned, stroking a shimmering strand.

"There's so many strings," Ash said, plucking at the threads.

"I'm not sure if we should be touching anything," Kyou said. Despite his words, he reached out to touch the filaments.

Ash bunched several of the threads up until she had something that looked like a bed made out of clouds. She lay down on it and sighed.

"This is like, ten times better than my bed at home, and I love my bed."

Jay was wrapping himself up in the silky strands. "It's so warm," he purred. "And so fluffy!"

The whole Web suddenly lurched causing all conversation to cease.

"Did anyone touch anything?" the Doctor called. "I told you all not to touch anything."

Ash jumped up off her cozy little bed and kicked at it, trying to make it look like the rest of the silky strands again. Kyou moved away from the threads as Jay tried to disentangle himself.

"No you didn't, Doc," Stormy drawled. "You were too busy trying to convince us that the Weaver ain't gonna to eat us."

"Oh. Right. Well, nobody touch anything."

The Web lurched again throwing everyone to the ground.

"It's a little late for that, Doctor," Bastian said, holding a sobbing Anica.

Everyone screamed—or gave a manly yawp—as the Web shook violently again.

A thunderous MEOW filled the air.

Ash's head popped up. "Kagae?"

The MEOW sounded again and an enormous, long-haired black cat with golden eyes came into view, shaking the Web so badly that it seemed the whole structure would fall apart.

"Giant cat, right in my face," the Doctor said.

"We're all gonna die!" Momiji cried, hugging onto Tohru.

"I'm too young to die!" Jay sobbed.

Everyone was talking or crying or screaming, and Ash couldn't make herself heard over the din, so gigantic Kagae kept coming and shaking the Web and then, with a terrible ripping noise, everyone was suddenly falling.

* * *

With a jolt, Ash awoke. Kagae—in her correct, small furry size—was curled up on her chest, purring like an outboard motor. With a sigh, Ash sat up on the living room couch and scrubbed her cat's head.

"I had the weirdest dream," she said.

From outside the house came the screeching _vworp vworp_ of the TARDIS's engines and a moment later Jess walked in the front door.

"Oh, hey. You're awake."

Ash nodded at her roomie, then pointed to the window where the last light of the TARDIS was fading. "Dream—?"

"It wasn't a dream. Stormy rescued you from work and the Doctor enlisted you and several of our friends to save the fabric of reality."

"But the Web . . . Kagae . . . "

"Yeah. The Doctor said you were so scared of the possibility of a spider, as were a few other people—*coughTallincough*—that the Weaver manifested as Kagae. She accidentally put a paw through the Web but luckily the Doctor was able to get everyone back to the ship. Unfortunately, he had to sedate you—you wild screaming thing you."

Ash blushed.

"The Doctor just dropped you off."

"Ah . . . oh . . . 'kay . . . I guess."

Jess smiled. "You saved Reality. Way to go. The Doctor says you should probably stay home from work tomorrow. He even wrote you a note." She held up a piece of paper. "A Doctor's note. Get it?" She giggled and handed Ash the note. "Anyway, I'm feeling better, so I'm getting Chinese for dinner. You wanna come?"

Ash sprang up from the couch, dumping Kagae off her lap with an irritated 'growff'.

"Totally!"

As they left, Kagae stuck out her paw and began washing. Neither girl noticed the fine silky strands stuck to the cat's fur, nor the little gleam in her eye as she licked them away.

**THE END **

**. . . Or is it?**


End file.
